Following in Dooce’s lead, I’ll tell you about “Deal Breakers” for men and me.
1) Dress young. I love men who can still carry off the “skater” look that was popular when I was in high school. When I reached my mid-twenties I thought I was doomed because most men my age start shopping at normal retail stores and stop with the Value Village-ing. I love skate shoes (they’ve been my prominent shoe for more than ten years), I love baggy pants, I love small shirts on skinny guys. I, on the other hand, do not like shirts with stupid sayings on them.
2) Be a vegetarian or a veggie-friendly meat eater. And don’t be vegan. I’ve had two vegan boyfriends and they were a Pain in the Ass to eat with- it’s too much trouble to cook with/for, let alone go out and eat. On the other hand, I could never be with someone who needs to eat meat for every meal, or even every day.
3) Rarely spends money frivolously (unless they have a kick-ass job and they buy me lots of presents. Read: has NEVER happened before, ever.). I’m the cheapest person I’ve ever met, and I worry about money just as much as I worry about my weight (a LOT).
4) Must take care of finger and toenails. If they’re too long or too dirty or too anything, it’s over so fast it didn’t even have time to begin.
5) Must be open to living in Nova Scotia. With this rule, they must love the ocean, the accents, the forest and the hicks. I would love to have my children be Nova Scotian, and thinking about ever having a kid born outside of the province makes me uncomfortable. I’m a very proud Nova Scotian.
6) Must have been outside of Canada and the USA for an extended period of time (months) in their life.
7) Must love the internet, and they *should* own at least one domain name.
Must know what a torrent is.
9) Must not be addicted to video games.
10) Must, must, must not do drugs on a regular basis and NEVER do hard drugs.
11) Must be a good and confident driver who doesn’t mind driving all the time.
12) Be ambitious. Nothing drives me crazier than someone who is passive in their life.
13) Must not smoke. As a recovering smoker, I know that if I was ever in a relationship with someone who smokes, I’d lose my battle of quitting smoking, and I can’t have that happen.
14) Don’t be a “specific” type of person. I do that enough for ten people. I like specific things done in a specific way, and I don’t think it’d work out if I met someone else like me. It stems from childhood (boo hoo hoo), but here are some things I’m specific about: toothpaste is to be squeezed from the bottom; dish clothes are to be hung up on the tap, not crumpled into a ball in the sink; phone cords that are twisted are bad; spoons face down when they’re drying in the rack… etc etc etc.
15) Like cats more than dogs. I don’t enjoy dogs. Period.
16) Don’t care about sports on television. (I’ve been quite fortunate to never be with someone who liked watching sports!)
17) Must make me laugh, must not mind being pinched, must have a pet name for me within the first six months, must be stronger than me, must love love love love and cherish me.
18) Must not be Christian.
