Clive’s at work and we’re MSNing, and he’s asking me if I want to watch a movie tonight, and suggests an action or a comedy. I have VERY little patience for movies lately, it was a big side effect of being pregnant and now having a child. Clive’s probably watched 150 movies in the past year, 145 of them by himself.
Well, what do you expect when you watch things that have titles such as “I’m a Cyborg, but that’s Okay”? I’m SO not spending the small amount of free time I have on something like that. Clive promises it was a good movie however. Here’s the IMDB link, if anyone is curious.
If I am going to spend my valuable time watching a movie, I have a few rules that Clive is very aware of, and if movies contain any of the following, I will not watch it.
1. Dog humor. I do not find dogs funny, I do not like it when jokes are based around them. ie) Something About Mary, when the little dog dies or gets electrocuted or whatever happened to him. NOT. Funny.
2. Old people humor. I don’t like it when old people are told to do something that young people do, in order to get laughs. ie) The Wedding Singer, when the old lady raps. I find it demeaning and not at all hilarious.
3. I enjoy foreign movies, but I will not watch any Asian martial arts movies. (I did watch Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon when it came out. I guess it was good? I don’t remember.)
4. I don’t find pot-related plot lines funny either. I used to, when I smoked pot, but since it’s been well over four years since I’ve smoked anything, and I’m not in high school anymore… well, I just can’t relate.
5. No Die Hard (much to Clive’s dismay).
6. No Star Wars.
7. No monkey humor, either. Clive just suggested watching Grandma’s Boy, which, according to the Plot Keywords, I will not like because they are: “Monkey / Innuendo / Marijuana / Bong / Pot Smoking…” etc. Any movie that lists “monkey” as the first plot keyword? Guaranteed, I will not enjoy it.
8. No Stifler. This is mostly because I saw him interviewed during the shoot of the first American Pie movie and he said that playing the part was really easy because that’s basically who he was in high school. I hated that kind of kid with all of my grunge-18-year-old-self bone in my body, and still do.
