It’s strange how your friends change once you have a baby. I’m constantly amazed at how SOCIAL I’ve become. I have no social anxiety whereas before Ash was born I wouldn’t have dreamed of signing up for activities that involved other people. I was far too shy.
Suddenly now I have something in common with anyone and everyone who’s ever had a baby. For the past few months I’ve been going to an Infant Massage class once a week. Ash has become disinterested in it and wants to eat the mat and touch other babies rather than be sung to while having his legs and belly touched. So, in enrolled us in a Babies’ First Books class at one of the local libraries instead and we went for the first time last Friday. He LOVED it. Even though the class is very short, he gets to crawl around with babies more his age and play with new toys and hear me sing along to rhymes with a bunch of other parents and their children.
In less than two weeks we’ll be taking a swim class together and my biggest concern isn’t the social aspect but where in the hell do I buy a one-piece bathing suit? A year ago I’d have been panicked about who I’d have to interact with, what would I ever have to talk about, maybe enrolling in something like this was a terrible idea, man I’m an idiot, I shouldn’t even try, this is going to be so awkward I’m not even going to have fun, I think I should cancel my membership I wonder if I can get a reimbursement, this definitely isn’t something I’m going to do, no sir. And I likely wouldn’t have.
Now, I feel unstoppable. Today we went to a breastfeeding class in the morning, home for an hour, and then out again to a babywearing/infant massage class designed for pregnant women and new moms. I went with a couple of mommy friends because I love talking about new babies and pregnancy and I also wanted to try to sell slings (success!) for three hours. Then we got a visit from my mom and step-dad for an hour, so Ash and I really only had a couple hours of downtime today, and I feel exhausted. I try to get out every single day and do something, even if it’s just to the grocery store, and I usually succeed. I figure I’ll be crazy active once the summer comes. I can’t wait.
I still value my friendships with my old friends, but they’re off gallivanting around the world and I’m here (and SO happy to be here) and I find we have less and less in common every day. Partially because of the distance, partially because having a child completely changes everything about your life, your goals and your Self.
