I have a curse. It’s my Restaurant Curse, one which makes me have something go wrong about 9 out of 10 times I go out to eat. It started in 1998 when I was living in a small town where there were only a couple of restaurants to choose from. My best friend worked there (the bagel place in Mahone Bay, for any locals reading) and so I went there a lot to eat and ended up getting BANNED from the restaurant because every time I went there something went wrong and I let them know. They probably thought I was just being a troublemaker, but I really wasn’t trying to be a pain in the ass. If I ordered something as simple as a whole wheat bagel with lettuce, tomato and cream cheese, I’d end up getting a sesame bagel or butter instead of cream cheese. I think the time I was banned was the time my sister and I went in and she ordered an ice cream sundae that had a hair in it. When we sent it back, the manager had had ENOUGH and kicked me out.
The curse has never let up. I fully expect something to go wrong every time I go out. Now, I hardly even complain when something happens.
Take these past couple of weeks. Clive has a $60/day meal budget that we split, which means that we go out to eat every day (hello, extra ten pounds. Seriously). Here are a few examples (but not everything that’s happened because my memory is shot sine having the baby):
1. The inari I ordered at the sushi restaurant (my fav kind of sushi) didn’t have rice in it, but had julienned fake crab. I didn’t even know you could still call that “inari” but I guess you can. Instead of complaining or sending it back, Clive got it.
2. We had a piece of hair in the dipping sauce of our mozza sticks last night. Instead of sending it back, I took out the hair and scraped off the “infected” area with the rest of my mozza stick and ate around where it’d touched.
3. Tonight I asked for caesar salad with my meal, double checking that there were no anchovies used in the dressing but when it arrived and I tasted it, I could definitely taste the fish. I just pretended that the waiter was correct and kept eating. Didn’t come close to finishing it because I could only pretend for so long.
4. I ordered a large (delicious!) salad for my dinner one night and there were a couple of odd bacon bits that had ended up in the salad. I tasted only one, but found another one before having to send it back. I’d eaten enough of the salad to fill me up so I didn’t ask for a replacement but it was taken off my bill. Note: bacon taste is OVERWHELMING holy hell.
From now on, I’m going to document my restaurant curse experiences. Seriously, it’s uncanny how many times things go wrong with my meals. I’m surprised I still want to go out to dinner.
After these two weeks of restaurant food, however, I’m not sure I’ll ever want to go out again. Instead, I’m going to go on Oprah’s Kathy Freston’s 21-day cleanse. This just means no animal products (not a big deal because I’m already a vegetarian), no wheat (shouldn’t be that hard), no alcohol or caffiene (I rarely, rarely have either) and the biggest challenge: no sugar. Should be interesting.
