Comments on: Crying It Out

By: Shari Greer

Shari Greer — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 03:24:50 +0000

hi
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good luck

By: Liz

Liz — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 03:05:33 +0000

I’m curious why you have Dooce still listed on your blogroll, if you find yourself appalled by blogger’s parenting methods? She’s been quite clear that she used the Ferber method on Leta.

By: typealice » Blog Archive » Money Where My Mouth Is

typealice » Blog Archive » Money Where My Mouth Is — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 14:08:20 +0000

[...] the form of neglect. Just in case you’re new to this blog, I’ve discussed it at length here and here, and kind of [...]

By: Girl Fights « Buy Some Soup

Girl Fights « Buy Some Soup — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 14:56:00 +0000

[...] ABUSE. You can’t read her first comment as it was removed, but she followed it up with her own post on the whole CIO issue, and, well I couldn’t help putting my 2 cents in. We obviously have [...]

By: typealice

typealice — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 18:03:39 +0000

I believe that the way that I parent will allow the children to be more independant (Ash is EXTREMELY independant) because he has someone that he can trust will be there when he needs me. I am NOT interested in doing everything for my 14 year old, my ten year old, even my five year old. What I am interested in is being there for my BABY to give him a good, solid foundation. When left to cry, to “self sooth” or whatever you want to call it, cracks form in their foundation, in my opinion, and I don’t want that to happen.

Toddlers differ from babies- from infants- and I think babies need to be nurtured gently, never be left alone to cry because mommy thinks it’ll make them tougher. Babies wants ARE their needs, they don’t know anything different. Toddlers follow a much different needs vs wants system, and cry when they can’t do silly things like pee on the cat.

By: elc

elc — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 14:17:17 +0000

Well I’m almost glad that I got here so late, I was very fired up about this when you first left your comment at Sundry, but after a couple of weeks and reading these comments, I have come to see this issue in a whole new light. We simply have a fundamental disagreement about the goals (and methods) of parenting. While I’m confident that we both want our children to be happy and healthy, I also want my child to become independant and self-reliant, and as a parent it is my primary job to give him the tools he needs to do so. I DON’T want to “solve all his problems immediately” AT ALL, I want him to learn to do if for himself.

There is a big difference between wants and needs. Children will cry for both. When I put my just fed, cleaned, cuddled, read-to, perfectly delighted baby into his crib to go to sleep, he cries because he WANTS to stay up with me (day or night), but as his parent I know better that he NEEDS to sleep. I may pat his back a few times for reassurance, but I leave the room with him crying if he continues. He doesn’t need ME, he needs to learn to settle himself to sleep. It is totally fundamental, and even though it does pain me to hear him cry, I fight the self-indulgent urge to run and pick him up so that I don’t rob him of the ability to conquer sleep on his own. There’s nothing abusive about it. It has nothing to do with convience. It is in my not-very-humble opinion, the best possible way for me to raise my child. Maybe it is tough-love, but it is a deliberate choice I’ve made because I love him so much.

I know a lot of women who became Mommy’s because they need to be needed. They love to play the martyr. They love to tell the tales of how they strapped their baby to their body day and night, and breastfeed until their nipples bled, and allowed their children to completely overtake their body/bed/marriage/life. I also know a lot of Mother’s who still change their 4-year-olds diapers, cut their 7-year-olds chicken fingers, and do their 14-year-olds laundry because their children “need” them to. So please “continue soothing, continue doing everything else that you can”, but don’t be so sure it won’t last forever.

By: typealice

typealice — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 20:35:23 +0000

You know what I’d do? I’d strap them in a sling (or stroller, whatever) and take a walk. A change of scenery is often what they need. Babies get bored! Ash can get grumpy during the day and all I need to do is go for a walk with him and point out birds and cars and flowers and whatever. That’s what’s great about the sling- they’re up in your world instead of being far away from everything you see and hear down in the stroller.

By: typealice

typealice — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 20:30:52 +0000

Are you serious??
uh, no. You wait it out. Continue soothing, continue doing everything else that you can- it won’t last forever. Keep repeating that to yourself over and over. It will not last forever. It will stop.

By: Sprite

Sprite — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 20:10:21 +0000

I don’t agree with CIO for CIO’s sake, but what else can you do if the child’s been fed, changed, burped, and you’ve paced around the room fussing over baby for what seems like hours?

Then it practically seems like common sense.

By: choice

choice — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 01:49:17 +0000

neither was mine. i wasn’t directly it at any one person.. i just see a lot of people who are seemingly taken aback by an alarm raised on an issue where maybe they shouldn’t be.

and if that alarm didn’t need to go off, better safe than sorry in ANY case.

i’m not a parent either, though i am a pet-owner and an aunt to many children, just observing.