Lately I can understand why people often have children two years apart because every single minute of every single day I can feel my biological clock ticking away saying, “It’s time for another baaaaaabyyyyyyyy!”
I’ve thought about having another one seriously since Ash was three months old, but because my next pregnancy will be high risk (I have isoimmunization, which basically means: A mother’s immune system which is Rh sensitized can destroy her unborn baby’s red blood cells leaving her fetus with severe anemia and risking death if left undiagnosed or untreated. BUT I’m not Rh negative, which can be treated with shots- I’m basically left on my own and the baby may need in utero blood transfusions), oh and because having another child would be like, uh, twice the work it is now, I literally go back and forth every day about whether or not it would be a good idea to have another one.
I have an IUD and have committed myself to nursing Ash until he’s at least two (hopefully he’ll cooperate), I know it’s not in our cards in the immediate future. I plan on having The Big Talk with Clive once Ash is nearing his second birthday, or whenever he’s done nursing if it’s before then, and we can go from there. I wish I could have kids two years apart, but my breastfeeding relationship with Ash is too important and both Clive and I like the idea of having him the only child- the baby- for as long as possible.
I’ve never seen myself with only one child, so I’m pretty sure there will be another one. I’ve got Rubbermaids FULL of clothes that I can’t bare to even think about selling or giving away, and the idea of Ash being the only one makes me want to cry, but for now I’m happy to have him as our only one. He is so smart. I love spending my days with him. He’s really starting to mimic words and today he kept trying to say “snowman.” It’s really the most amazing thing I’ve ever witnessed- realizing that Clive and I created this little THING that is quickly turning into a real person who can actually communicate with real words and everything.
He has started saying “baba” for “bubbles”- he loves getting a handful of dish suds and putting them up to his ear to hear them pop and “nana” for “noodles,” one of the only things he’ll eat. He’s already pretty fussy- sticking with rice, crackers, bread and most fruits. The only veggies he’ll eat are broccoli and sometimes cauliflower.
Before, the thought of taking care of a newborn and a two or three year old overwhelmed me, or even worse- taking care of a two year old while in the throws of morning sickness- but lately I’ve been thinking, “I could do it!” I just wish I could turn down the tick tock until it’s time to actually decide.
