Today was my first day of work! I went in for three hours in the afternoon and helped stock shelves and fill internet orders and I had a good time. It went by surprisingly quickly and I didn’t miss Ash. Ask me again on Wednesday, which is my first full day of work, if I’ve missed him and I’m sure my answer will be yes.
There are too many things going on in our lives right now and I feel like… mostly like a need a cigarette. That’s one thing about smoking that I miss- that I used to really be able to chill out and feel slightly better after sucking one of those things back. I quit for good in 2005, and I still think about smoking almost every day. I used to love smoking, gross as it may be, it was one of my favorite things in life at the time (and had been since I was 17).
I’ve changed my mind again on the old baby making thing. Clive and I were already taking a break from TTC because we wanted to avoid a Christmas baby, and now I feel like this just isn’t the right time to keep trying (too many things going on right now), and so when I go to the doctor tomorrow to get Ash’s infected finger looked at (I think he has a splinter wedged in there, and it’s been bad for well over a week now with no sign of recovery), I’m going to ask for a prescription for the mini pill and an IUD… I may just stick with the mini pill for now though.
When stress is this high, I just shut down.
