typealice

In my house we do not talk about poop. This is always the way it’s been, I have never found it interesting or necessary or funny to talk about. My brother and sister, on the other hand- hysterical with laughter about toilet humor, even now in their mid-twenties.

It is not discussed between Clive and I, basically ever. Even though in the BVI he was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, and poop NEEDED to be talked about. We also lived in a bachelor apartment and so it’s not like it could be totally avoided because, well, ya know. When I got pregnant I said to him one day, “you know, when he’s born we’re going to have to talk about poop.” “No we’re not.” “Um, yes we are.” The birth of Ash has forced us to talk about poop, but it’s always a very matter-of-fact kind of conversation, no laughing, no jokes, just “did he poop?” “yes.” “okay.” It’s just something that happens, there’s nothing else to it.

And I’d like to keep it that way. I do not like to think about my significant other on the toilet. Actually, my ex used to pee sitting down and it grossed me out so much that it was one of the main reasons I couldn’t see myself with him for the rest of my life. No, I just do not need to think about you in that context. Never would I ever want to purposely look at your poop, unlike some couples do (WHY GODDAMMIT, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?) or poop with the door open, no thanks.

Anyway, imagine my surprise when at 27.5 months old, Ash says his very first poop joke.

Conversation goes:

From the back seat. “Milk.”
“What?”
“Milk.”
“What kind of milk? Cows milk, soy milk, rice milk?”
“Boobie milk!”
“No, no boobie milk [I don't nurse during the day], how about some rice milk?”
“No thank you. Boobie milk!”
“How about elephant milk? Butterfly milk? Octopus milk? Fire breathing dragon milk?”
“hahahhaa noooooo!”
“Kitten milk? Cheswick [his bear] milk? Puppy Mathias [his stuffed dog] milk?”
“Nooo! How about POOPY MILK???! Yuck, gross! eckkkk, ewww! pth pthhhh yucky!!!”

I guess it’s inevitable, raising a kid – especially a boy!

So, I bought a motorcycle today. I’ve never driven a motorcycle. Hell, I didn’t even SIT on this before buying it. But, the dream to own a motorcycle is about 30 years old. I don’t remember a time when I didn’t want a motorcycle, and I have been promising myself that I’d buy one for years and years and years. This is an early 30th birthday present to myself.

And I have Etsy to thank. And hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of sewing cowls.

I can’t wait until spring!!!

I am so excited I’m absolutely spinning. See her entry on Holiday for Her: Accessories and Clothing gift guide!

Dear Ash,

Okay, I missed last month. I’m sorry! I got so busy with my business (Pip Robins, just in case you have no idea what I’m talking about by the time you read this, or maybe I’ll be a multi-millionaire from cowl sales!) that working took precedence over writing your newsletter on time, and then when I went to write it I realized that ALL of my November 2009 photographs were somehow gone from the memory card on our main camera. And then I lost all my inspiration to write. I’m sorry.

Well, let’s see. I’ve got two months to cover here, so let’s get started.

You’re smart. Man, you are SMART. Your vocabulary in the past couple of months has grown from hundreds of words to thousands of words. You pick up on EVERYTHING we say and do. You can remember songs after hearing them only once or twice, you mimic our actions- see here in the picture below- you got ahold of my mascara and before I even realized what you were doing, you had APPLIED IT PROPERLY, TO YOUR EYELASHES. Granted, you got a little messy, but do you see that? Without me even realizing just how closely you must watch me while I do my makeup in the morning, you took the wand and applied mascara to your eyelashes. How could I even get mad at that? Genius, my son, genius.

It seems a little out of date now that it’s the 9th of December, but I have to talk about it: Hallowe’en. This month you celebrated your third-ever Hallowe’en and we dressed you as a lizard in a costume I got for $5 from the Salvation Army. Your father and I dressed as doctors, complete with masks that I made that very morning, as a shout out to the Swine Flu mass hysteria that’s happening around the world. You and your day care friends were even able to dress up during the day, and at night we and two other families went out trick or treating, which you loved.

So. WHY. Why? Why? Why? Why? You started saying “why” by the time I was finished writing your last newsletter two months ago, and now it is your answer for everything. It’s as if it’s a knee-jerk reaction, everything we say is followed with a “why” and then another “why” and then another and another and another. We will answer you until we don’t know the answer anymore because it’s how you’re going to learn things, right? Sure, it’s a tad annoying sometimes, but it’s cute and you’re learning, so how could I complain. I wouldn’t mind if you toned it down, maybe just a little.

These past couple of months you’ve becoming increasingly into reading books. You’d rather sit on our laps and read books than do anything else, maybe even including watching YouTube videos of Franklin the Turtle. You and I have started going to the library at least once a week on one of our days off together, and while you play with the toys I seek out new books for us to read. You are able to memorize them within a couple of times of reading them, and love it when we stop midway through a sentence so you can finish it for us. Right now your favorite book is The Jungle Book and Bambi, but a couple of months ago all you wanted to read was Franklin the Turtle. We’ve read every single one of them that the library offers about a hundred times each.

You still love cars of course. And you love to line them up on the table, like this:

When it was still nice outside, you and your dad would often go for walks/rides outside. Now we’re confined to the basement, and your father got you a HUGE bike (it would probably fit a four year old better) for a good price second hand, and he put some training wheels on it. You can JUST reach the pedals, and you ride around as fast as you can down there. It’s such a big bike that you could easily fall off and hurt yourself, so we make you wear your helmet. You don’t mind.

In mid-October we took a family trip to the same zoo we went to last year, Oaklawn Zoo, where they have all kinds of animals- everything from Zonkeys to Camels to deer to pigs. Your favorite animal? The concrete cow. We could hardly get you away from it, even though MY favorite animal exhibit was just right around the corner (the family of monkeys with the nursing baby!)

In early November it snowed, and that was exciting for you. It didn’t last long and the snow didn’t come back for another month, but it actually made me a little excited to be able to go outside with you and play as you get older.

At school you get to do a lot of artwork, drawing and painting. At home we have the supplies but are often busy with other things. You did ruin our kitchen table in one swift move while I turned my back for 1.23432 seconds, you grabbed my pen and with all of your 28lb force, managed to carve a nice L shaped line in blue into the tabletop. This is exactly why I bought a table and chair set that cost $114. I expect these things of you. You like to take your markers and draw on your face, and call yourself a kitty. I believe you think you’re drawing whiskers.

One morning this week you built a huge tower of blocks all on your own. Not one iota of help from me. You were so pleased with yourself!

To follow up to the last newsletter, where I said that you were fully potty trained: I have put away every single one of your diapers and you have still (knock on wood) not had an accident at night. And recently you’ve even started going to the potty by yourself, at school and at home, and have finally figured out how to pull up and down your pants over that plump little bottom of yours (which you get from your dad, definitely not from me), which is even MORE wonderful! (However, you did come home in a completely new outfit from school the other day when you went by yourself and forgot the “tucking” step of going to the potty and soaked your pants AND your shirt. There’s obviously a learning curve!)

You’re pretty incredible, I have to say. You love to sing lots and lots of songs, Christmas carols and kids songs like Itsy Bitsy, you know your alphabet inside and out, you know every single one of the letters and what sound they make. And even more exciting- you started COUNTING things this month. You have been able to count for many months, but you never knew when to stop, or what counting actually meant. But a couple of weeks ago I was taking apart a Clementine for you, and you counted every piece (13 of them) as I laid them down on the plate, without missing a beat. It was if something finally clicked, and now you’re successfully counting things all the time.

You can do your age 3+ puzzle basically on your own- your attention span lasts one or two vehicles (it’s a large floor puzzle with an ice cream truck, fire truck, ambulance etc) at a time, but if you could focus for long enough, you could do the whole thing on your own. You are understanding how puzzles work more and more- lining up the pictures, not just jamming things in all willy nilly.

The point is, is that when people ask you how you are, I always say, “Oh, ya know, smart.” You never cease to amaze us. Every single day you just get smarter and smarter and smarter and I feel like such a lucky person to be raising a child who is this easy. Sure, you don’t sleep through the night, sure, you have temper tantrums, sure, you get into things that you’re not supposed to, but overall, if we pay the attention to you that you need and deserve, you’re amazing.

You make me feel so lucky to be your mom. I cannot imagine my life without you in it, I cannot remember what it was like not to have this much love in my heart. You are my everything. I miss you whenever I’m away from you, my heart aches when I’m at work and I feel jealous that your teachers get to see you so much, especially when I know they don’t think you’re as special as I do. Sometimes I get so angry at myself for going back to work and missing so much of this time in your life because you’re learning and growing at such an incredible rate. I just hope that you’re happy. Please be happy.

I love you so entirely.

Love,
Mama

What a whirlwind the past couple of weeks have been. I have been running solely on adrenaline. November was my (Pip Robins) best month ever, at any business I’ve ever owned. With 61 sales in total, I have just been overwhelmed by your support!

A lot of those sales came from blog readers, and so may I just shout out to you an ENORMOUS THANK YOU. I go to bed every night with Etsy on the brain, excited to come home from work so that I can spend the evening sewing. I absolutely LOVE what I’m doing lately and it helps that people also seem to like what I’m doing!

Today was the second day of the season where there was snow, and boy, my cowl sure kept me warm. Shall I toot my own horn here? Okay, here goes nothing: My chunky cowls allow me to cover my nose and cheeks from the wind and snow without being enclosed by a scarf. My breath keeps me warm, but not wet- unlike every scarf I’ve ever worn which holds all the condensation. And then when I’m inside, I just push my cowl down so that it’s not covering my face anymore and it’s suddenly a nice fashion accessory.

I’m seriously in love with a corduroy lining to a wool exterior. I’m going to make more tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, I’m taking a “me” day. I’m putting Ash in daycare on a day when he isn’t usually scheduled so I can get things done. The house is an absolute atrocious mess- this picture is what my office/dining room looked like last night. And I didn’t even sew anything. And I’m afraid to say that it looks much worse in person than in the picture. No sewing table could contain me- I’d still end up working on the floor.

I haven’t had a day off without Ash since the summer, and I am feeling so overwhelmed at my incomplete tasks that it’s necessary. He’s started in an older toddler room this week, and actually cried having to leave daycare today, and so I don’t feel (that) bad about putting him in there for an extra day. I’m going to finish making something for the secret santa we’re having at work, start my xmas baking, do some grocery shopping, package and ship my orders from last night and today, and sew and photograph as many cowls as possible. And attempt the dishes. The motherfucking dishes.

Sooooo, after more than two years, I’m finally getting a little tired of nursing. More specifically: night nursing. Which just happens to be 99.9% of when Ash nurses on a daily basis. I’m tired.

Really, really tired.

He wakes up every 1.5-2 hours every night for MILK MAMA MILLLLLLLLK, cuddle,cuddle, millllllk! Please? Littlebit? Littlebit? WHAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Once upon a time we’d hardly wake up, but now that he’s so verbal, I get a lot of whining about milk, literally crying about wanting milk, even if there’s not a wait for it. He won’t take no for an answer, at least not easily. I tell him that the milkies need a break, I tell him that when the sun is up he can have milk, I tell him a flat out no, I tell him he can have more later. He just keeps waking up and wanting it, and frankly, no matter how much I am tired of these mini night nursing sessions, it’s far easier to just give him milk than to fight it.

He never asks during the day to have milk, unless he’s really hurt or really tired. He just gets it before naps and bedtime. It’s an easy fix, and I love the power that nursing has. The biggest thing is that he’s making the rules- I figure I’ll go along for the ride until he’s done. My goal was two years, and now that I’ve made that I feel good about whatever is next.

But this nighttime thing is killing me.

For a while putting him on his little mattress beside our king mattress solved it, because he wasn’t waking up as often, but now his big thing is that he just wants to be the Little Spoon, and constantly asks me to cuddle. He’s also in this grabby stage where he just wants to rub my boobs, which I hateHATE, and do not allow, but he sometimes gets to do it in the middle of my deep sleep until I’m snapped out of it.

He’s old enough to understand what no is. I just can’t bear to hear his heartbreaking cries when I tell him that I don’t want to nurse at that moment. My milk is decreasing in supply, the vein in my chest that appeared hours after Ash was born is no longer bulging. I’m not a 36DD anymore, but rather just a 32 or 34D, and there’s no engorgement like there used to be.

It’s still cold and flu season which makes me want to keep nursing basically as much as he wants, but I have no idea how much nutrition he’s actually getting.

I don’t want to stop nursing altogether, I just want to get a full night’s sleep.

Does anyone have any tips who has been there? Just look at how happy my boobs make him! (Here he is coping a feel.)

So, Pip Robins has continued to pick up speed, and while I’m feeling slightly overwhelmed, I’m extremely happy. I feel like I’ve found a small niche in Etsy. Sure, there is competition as far as cowls goes, but most are knitted and the couple of shops that offer other cowls similar to mine are 1. more expensive 2. not as nice (if I do say so myself).

Etsy itself is the big one that’s taken notice and I’ve been featured in a few places this week, and damn, it feels good. I think maybe they just like my chin. And one particular cowl.

So, one Storque article, featured twice in the Gift Guides, and I’ve been in several treasuries this month too. One of a Kind Gift Guide and Gifts Under $25 are the two I’ve been in for many days, equaling lots of views and lots of hearts, but they still haven’t sold. That’s totally okay with me, because it means more views to my shop!

I feel like I haven’t done anything but sew, take photos of myself and edit said photographs in weeks. It’s a huge boost to the self esteem though, and I feel so great to finally have a hobby. I’ve spent my entire life not having anything except the internet as a hobby. Seriously. And now that I’m crafty and making a little extra cash on the side, it feels wonderful.

So Clive and I went as doctors for Hallowe’en this year. I got up early and sewed some doctor’s masks to go with the thrift store lab coats I got for $2 each earlier in the week.

My name tag was Mass Hysteria, MD and Clive’s was Big Pharm, MD.

Which pretty much sums up my thoughts on the swine flu and its vaccination.

I’ve been asked by a few people to write about my thoughts on the topic. Those of you who are my friend on facebook have probably been inundated with my links about the topic- so much so that you may have “hidden” me so you don’t have to hear about it anymore.

My feelings are strong, and I have a very hard time staying calm when I think about this topic, especially concerning the people I care about in my life and who are thinking about, or have already gotten this vaccination.

I haven’t spoken about it much here because I don’t like vaccination debates, but we haven’t vaccinated Ash against anything and we don’t intend to. I’ve been vaccinated like crazy because of my travels (especially because of travelling to West Africa) and didn’t think twice about it at the time because I didn’t even know vaccinations were controversial.

So, what do I think about H1N1? Pretty much the same thing as my friends Ashley and Jen.

I think: It’s the fucking FLU. THE FLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

Also: this vaccination is fucking dirty. DIRTY. DIRRRTTTYYYY! Mercury! Formaldehyde (not that that’s anything new)! Both toxic! Mercury poisoning can result in autism-like behaviour! And you’re INJECTING IT RIGHT INTO YOUR VEINS!!!!

One more thing: THE MEDIA IS CONTROLLING YOUR MINDS. It’s a fucking hayday out there in media-land for swine flu stories. They’re making lots and lots of money off of this, and you’re all lapping it up and you probably don’t even see it.

Okay, okay. My heart is literally beating faster and faster (as you may be able to tell by all the capital letters)

Some of the things I want to point out:

H1N1 is NOT more deadly than the regular flu, so please stop thinking it is.
(Source: The Globe and Mail)

There was a long-running assumption that a pandemic strain of influenza would be more deadly than seasonal flu. So far, H1N1 is not proving more deadly. If anything, it will probably be less lethal than a seasonal flu. But remember, a run-of-the-mill seasonal flu kills an estimated 4,000 to 8,000 Canadians each year.

***

They are recommending that if you get the swine flu, stay at home. WHY would I vaccinate against something so mild that I don’t even have to go to a doctor about?
(Source: CBC)

If your symptoms are mild, a trip to the emergency room will only have you put people at risk of catching the virus and expose you to other illnesses. The best thing to do if you have swine flu is to stay home, treat the symptoms and avoid infecting others. If you have risk factors or other medical problems then it’s best you see a doctor right away.

***

The vaccination you’re thinking about getting, or have gotten has formaldehyde and mercury in it. The other one without these things is NOT AVAILABLE YET.
(Source: Health Canada)

Antigen suspension vial: Thimerosal, sodium chloride, disodium hydrogen phosphate, potassium dihydrogen phosphate, potassium chloride, water for injections. The drug substance contains trace residual amounts of egg proteins, formaldehyde, sodium deoxycholate and sucrose.

***

Mercury is dangerous.
(Source: vran.org)

“The most likely sources of the mercury are maternal dental fillings, maternal fish consumption, consumer products (eye drops, nasal sprays, others), Rho-gam shot, Influenza vaccine during pregnancy, and childhood vaccines. The increase in autism appears to correlate with the increased use of vaccinations. In children who are fully vaccinated, by the sixth month of life they have received more mercury from vaccines than recommended by the EPA. There are many similarities in symptoms between mercury toxicity and autism, including social deficits, language deficits, repetitive behaviors, sensory abnormalities, cognition deficits, movement disorders, and behavioral problems. There are also similarities in physical symptoms, including biochemical, gastrointestinal, muscle tone, eurochemistry, neurophysiology, EEG measurements, and immune system/autoimmunity.” (quoted from notes (part 3), taken at the recent DAN! – Defeat Autism Now Conference – Oct./01)

The devastating effects of mercury poisoning are well documented and have been known since the 1930’s. To protect their unborn infants from mercury poisoning, pregnant women are advised against eating shellfish and other species of fish contaminated with high levels of mercury and are cautioned about the risks of mercury containing dental amalgam fillings, yet health officials encourage pregnant women to receive flu vaccine injections which contain thimerosal, a mercury compound that can cross the placenta and affect the growing fetus.

***

Of all the ways I could die, dying from H1N1 is not a concern of mine. Look at all the people who are dying of cancer (let me remind you again to be careful with what you’re exposing your body to, whether it’s food or drugs or skin care or plastics, all which can be cancer causing). I have a better chance of being hit by a car than I do dying from H1N1, and I don’t stress about it every day, and the media isn’t running story after story after story about how to be careful when crossing the street.

(Source: Statistics Canada)

***

This is all going to be over soon and then you’re going to have t-shirts that say, “I survived the swine flu 2009″ because it’s not actually that big of a deal.
(Source: The Globe and Mail)

With H1N1, the flu season started early, so it will probably end early – the flu will likely have spread all over the country by Christmas. What happens after Christmas remains unclear, but likely the strains of seasonal flu will start to spread more aggressively.

***

The immediate side effects scare me.

A little boy at Ash’s daycare was vaccinated and spent the next day on a cot, crying, totaly miserable. A woman that I work with takes care of a little girl who was vaccinated and her side effect was huge open sores appearing on and around her crotch. Far beyond a typical diaper rash: seriously bad stuff happening there.

Other possible side effects?
(Source: Suite101)

Headache
Fatigue for several days after
Fever
Muscle aches
Nausea
Redness, soreness, swelling or tenderness near injection site
Fainting (mainly with teens)

***

Listen, if this shit is happening with adults, what the FUCK is it doing to your little fetus growing inside of your body, exposed to every good and bad thing that you put in your body? With such rapid growth happening, how can you POSSIBLY think that something so strong isn’t going to have some kind of effect?! Seriously?! Getting this vax while pregnant is one of the STUPIDEST things I have EVER, EVER heard. I hope your baby is okay, seriously.

***

Here’s the big one: Doctors are not gods. Lots of people are saying, “but if it’s not safe, why would my doctor tell me to get it?” They ALSO told people to get the swine flu vaccination in 1976 and more people died FROM THE VACCINATION than they did the flu! They also told pregnant women that it was safe to take a particular anti-nausea drug until they realized it was causing severe deformities! They used to x-ray pregnant women until, whoopsie! sorry! that causes damage too! They also used to knock women out while she was in labour and tie her down to “help” her give birth only a few decades ago. Everyone trusted THOSE doctors too, but they have all made some pretty big fucking mistakes- especially mistakes that have been funded by huge drug companies. Do not trust everything your doctor says.

***

Here it is: you couldn’t pay me enough money to vaccinate myself, my kid, my husband, anyone against H1N1. If we get sick, we’ll be fine. We’re healthy. I’m still nursing Ash. We’ll stay in bed and recover. The flu always sucks, but an unknown, relatively untested vaccination like this one with more media coverage than what’s good for it is much, much worse in my books.

I just backed into a wheelbarrow in my back yard that I didn’t know was there, so I’ve lost all inspiration to continue sewing, so I’m drowning my sorrows in blogging and a date square. Ooooh, and a glass of wine…

Ahh, that’s better.

I’ve been craving date squares for literally months. At the start of the craving I bought the dates, sampled a couple and then shoved them in my cupboard and since then I’ve thought about making date squares every single day I’ve had off. I just never found the time or the incentive to do it. Until today. And yum.

My cowls have been selling like hotcakes in the past week, and it feels great. First, it’s wonderful to have loyal blog followers support me and my crafty side, and second, it’s great to have strangers like what I am making enough to buy it from me. I’m sad about how poor the US dollar is right now- I emptied $700 USD from my PayPal account recently- I don’t think I’ve withdrawn money since 2008- and the conversion left me with a whopping $729 CAD. I couldn’t believe how little that was. A couple of years ago I’d have easily gotten $1000 CAD.

I’m going to be in a second B&M store soon- probably by next Wednesday. A local store called is taking a few of my cowls and wants to take some purses too. I’ll have to think about the purses, however, because they take me so much time, it’s not worth losing the 45% just to have them in a store. I’d much rather list them on Etsy and lose 3.5%.

I’m quitting designing websites, and I’m quitting G Slings. Starting this week, whenever I find time, I’m redirecting both of those websites to Pip Robins. It’s my new creative outlet and my new part time job. I’m still amazed at how I just literally FELL into this. Two years ago I could hardly sew in a straight line. Outside of how to work a vintage Singer sewing machine, which was taught to me by my mother who HATES to sew, I’m totally self taught. Tutorials online work wonders!

Thank you again, to all of you who read this blog and have purchased something from me. Your support means so much.